And you promised me.. what? A life of love and fantasy we never meant to fulfill?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

well wasn't today stupid -
short day. form teacher wasn't here.
school had track and field after lessons ended. compulsory.
so i'm falling asleep in lessons. it's boring. well for the first few periods.
the strings went and got gold that's pretty cool. good stuff. in SYF.
was supposed to be chinese period.. but i told white rabbit to tell loy i had diarrhoea heh
so i ponned the first period and hung out with xin yi and yan ling
crazy girls. we ran around school looking for an empty classroom
went into LT2 and played a fool there. quite lame la.
then walked around with my bling-bling chain
haha like i'm teh pimp daddy quite funny. went to the canteen and met nat
then he was like ' ya hmmm whatever LOL. '
so they went off to find their empty classroom and left me with the guys
no fun :( shoulda told them my birthday was in may or something
then they would've made something for me haha. rocks. too bad they know the truth

went late for chinese. quite fun. as usual !
messed around with zheng hao's 7610 cam.. quite cool la
then bishan park/joshua played around with my chain and we smacked keith tang around
haha.
then we started making stupid home videos. pointing third fingers everywhere
then joshua was pointing them back at us too. haha
pointed them at loy but he was like laughing and asking terry to point back at us
but he was just sleeping as usual (:
so we made a home video on 'how to throw a paper plane.. and a scissors'
me and su did the thing. quite funny - we threw it at the fan and it spun off
then i threw the scissors at the fan and there was this super loud 'ting'
... terry woke up LOL. and the scissors almost cut me on my face. damn fun haha i'm nuts
what can i say.....

had GP later on. but dilpreet wasn't here. as usual !
she's cool. goes clubbing muahah she should take her students along la .
had this chio relief teacher.. according the the girls and guys
hmms.
so we had this plaster sticking thing
xin yi, yan ling (geez. mistresses of craziness), andrew, nat and me wore plasters
they put this kiddy yellow ones on their nose and i put one on my cheek
then i made this paper bling-bling of a cross and highlighted the edges pink
then we took a pic. quite fun haha
then we walked around school for abit with my bling on. rocks.

track was damn boring. no one wanted to go
so qing, su, shaun, lucas and xavier (qing's classpeep) ran out through the drain hole
this hole in the fence.. ya gotta climb under the drain and run up the hill
damn crazy. we went to holland V to eat BK (sian)
then we did the exothermic trick on shaun and he got pwnt by the cherry fizz and ketchup
yumms. well me and lucas mixed some fries and ate it. funky.
pwnt. went back to school later. hah. BUT not after pwning this poor ang mo lady's car
we stuffed this coconut up her exhaust pipe and i think she saw
so we ran off. that was before we went to BK
then later on we found it on the floor. so i stuffed it in again and took a pic. haha
hope the car doesn't blow when she starts up haha !

we walked through the gate and pretended to be strings people who just came back
then the guard was damn blur so he kinda overheard our crap on cello string replacements
and how we pawned WTFss school and got the gold or some shit
then he stopped us - why ?
cos my shirt was untucked LOL. hahahaha. so ironic.

track meet was basically. damn. boring.
like geez. was only fun when fast people ran. most of them floundered along.
shaun ran around trying to look for his cl/ul
then we all just stoned.
tried to take pix of x (since i don't know her name..)
but my stupid cam totally sucks and i got this blurred shots of her
yawn. she totally looks like someone i know la ! damn freak. *cute!*
haha. yawn yawn. played with zheng hao's rubix cube
almost bashed the thing open but hey i managed to solve like 95% of it in the end man
yeah. we trained pullups.. geez i feel like a canoeist now. geez.
but hell la i wanna pass my napfa and play games. more fun than training right.
heh. then i can spit in kermit's face. yeah !

stupid qing wanted to run out.. so we ran out of school by the backgate
this guy opened the gate for us so we walked out
then qing got damned scared and wanted to go back to mark attendance (wuss)
then we had to climb it. like how fucking stupid was that la !
so i got damned pissed and pissed outside the school gate with my bottle
then i smacked it around and squat down and felt like taking a cigarette and stuffing it up his
but since im so nice i just trahed the gate and jumped over
but stupid me prolly broke my ankle cos it still hurts damn bad now.
means i can wear slippers to school tmr (: woot. but shucks la hurts sian.
hope i didn't break anything or i'll like just break the school gate or something heh.
in the end we realised they didn't mark attendance. so i was like quite pissed
but heck la. who cares. my mom came to fetch me anyway. said bye to the guys
saw su's crush. she was just waiting for her parents in front of me
quite yawn. ended the great day. life rocked today 8/10 man.

wS thought about life at 10:36 pm

@--}--

Sunday, April 24, 2005

whoops. haven't been in the blog scene recently
been too busy caught up in life's twirls.. too tired to think
... too tired to blog

how long has it been? two weeks already ?
they keep passing by so quickly
next thing you know i'll be facing my promos in a flash
time passes so quickly you never get to keep any memories of life
maybe it's better that way.. it's a mechanism to make us forget the unpleasant
i'm full of regrets. so many things hits me with respite.
i think i'm just doomed to push away things.
once the going gets too good i push it away
then when the feeling ebbs i just want it all over again. i'm so fucking stupid.
but. when the only thing i ever wanted came along
i just had to push it away. and away. and away.
till now. it's gone. but i never wanted not to have it.
what can i say anymore. the past is overwritten by your present.

oh i hate the whiny parts in the abovementioned.
heh. this is a shoutout to all you players out there.
you're gonna get burnt when you least expect it. haha.

so here i am. there's a bio test tomorrow.
i haven't gone past biological molecules and onto enzymes
and here i am blogging. geez.
body's going through a decrepifying cycle -
sleep.eat.study.play not in that order
but put all these into a blender and flush it all around
and you get my life.

went out shopping awhile back with her
walked about Heeren-Cineleisure area for awhile
but i'm such an asshole. my heart was totally not with her la
just treating her like a kid sister.
liked her once.. but that was just for looks..
but hey, realised that looks didn't mean everything (albeit something..)
and now i'm just losing what i thought i wanted
.. horrors.
bought a gift for someone else when i was out with her
oh my God. shoot me haha.
-dies

okay. love segment over.
anything else to ramble on ?
so have you guys heard the Led Zepplin song played backwards ?
freaky.
http://www3.telus.net/jefmil/stairwaybackwards.htm
check this link out . this guy did some backmasking.

Original Lyrics
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May queen
Yes there's two paths you can go by
but in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on

*Editors's Note (me): two meanings displayed here with subtle references to the devil.
May Queen - refers to the female demon Diana. Whose fertility cycle begins in the month of May. Furthermore she is likened to a queen on the earthly realm, where she has domination over the seeds of the pagan women, hence 'fertility goddess'.
Change The Road - the two roads talked about.. and the subtle hinting of changing the 'road' that the person takes. Christians believe that the straight and narrow road is the path to heaven whilst the wide and winding road is the path to hell. Of course these are metaphors to represent the aspects of Christianity and it's scriptural teachings, but the reference to it is hardly a coincidence. Definitely a hint to switch sides eh ?

Reveresed Lyrics
Oh here's to my sweet satan
The one who's little path would make me sad
Whose power is satan
He'll give those with him 666
There was a little toolshed where he made us suffer
Sad satan

*Editor's Note 2: what can i say. besides the obvious explanations about to come
seems that the singer's already in the grasp of the devil, as explained by Christian scriptures that the 'devil has a hold on you', meaning that you're under his influence. And he knows that the path he took was the wrong one. Yet he is unable to escape, because his heart is too aversed to God to change. Not trying to prove anything here but, it's just references to the scripture ok. 'Sad satan..' probably meaning satan isn't really happy with his situation, so he has to mess up the little people on Earth to make himself feel good. kekeke.

-yawns. alright. gonna go study now.

wS thought about life at 6:49 pm

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

and so people around me are playing DotA or CS as i blog this entry
at Ginza now, decided to try out the LAN scene awhile more, just to get the feel of speed
stupid home comp lags every 2 seconds i make my Death Knight scratch his butt so i gave up
freaking hell i'm like doing so bad with Chang at ATs. Maybe it's his micro
but i'm not pointing fingers 'cos i know he'll just get pissed at me
hope me doesn't read this stupid entry..
know it isn't my micro that's got a problem. but hell all he wants is archer-ghouls and Ranger
like wtf. i cant even micro ghouls. they're so hard to bloody micro without any auras.
damned ghouls. they just died to shockwave-nova spams.
okay. for those who didn't understand what i just said. it was about War3. FT.

so it's damned funny. me and qy went to Clementi again.
didn't bump into those mats.. luckily
didn't feel like getting pwnt again.. and qy isn't such great backup ya
hahaha. feeling so bored
i need some excitement in my life again
school's getting so cyclitic that i feel like puking

p.s just to digress :
some GoD2 loser is playing on the comp next to mine
bloody GoD2 he's this long haired teenage joker with acne
hmm. he didn't see sOz on my channel name i guess...

well i just did. puke.
i'm yawning everyday now. and i'm losing my precious rest
stupid shit i can't even think straight now.
i better get this bullcrap out of my mind before i go bonks over it
so like.
my dad got pissed at me yesterday 'cos i didn't want to listen to him
but he was just shouting at me. don't respect people who yell at you
they're turds. switch off.
so they both went to bed and i finally got up to bathe
was out with my mom for 'retail therapy' earlier on.. came back pretty late
at least it took my mind off things

sat on my bed naked after my bath. hmm shouldn't be saying this here. but heck.
took out an old friend from the drawers.. Marlboro Lights haha.
thought id abandoned the stupid thing but something just made me light one up
didn't smoke it, just held it between my fingers over the wastepaper basket..
looking at the smoke swirl through the air.. breathing in the narcotic scent
felt.. heavenly. once you've been tainted i guess you can't erase the ride
some shit happened later. won't blog about it here.
but it left me super jaded. fucking hell. it makes me wonder what life really is all about.
but i guess that's too deep so.. fuck it too.
read book 8 of GTO : fuckin' Onizuka really rocks. wish he was my teacher. heh.
drank a whole bottle of Wild Turkey and knocked out on bed
the friggin alcohol was playing tricks on my fucking mind
think i started tripping. felt a craving to pump one fag again.. bloody hell
i'm so lame. i just resort to smoking to escape from my problems. that just bites
gotta solve it somehow. but hey.. smoking's a stigma when you're in jc
but i guess when you grow up it just becomes natural.
don't intend to be one.. but the ride is so great
it's like after i smoke there's a choking feeling in my throat and you feel lightheaded
it's like there's no sound around you and you're just feeling good.
disclaimer : THAT is only after your first few tries and when you get used to it
then you drink some fucking booze and the cold washes down your throat and clears it
feels great. feels top of the world. but hell, i don't recommend it
it's expensive to uptake and it just screws with your health.

school today was .. bad-good-good-bad-good i guess
bad because the day started out shit with me and my fucked up hangover
stumbled out of bed and stubbed my toe on the bloody dustbin
couldn't find my toothbrush (it was in my shower.. wtf)
got yelled at by my mom for not fucking getting into the car on time.
got better later.. school was great on it's own
hung out mostly with Yanling and XinYi during class.. they're such slackers
feels good to be with people i can understand.. hey. i slack. but i produce results right
hahahaha. fuck society. i'm not a chao mugger but i still fuck you nerds up. pwn.
ponned chinese.. poor Mr Loy he's a great guy.
i'll go to class if me ponning gets him into trouble. he's the greatest horny, cool and pro teacher
EVER.
was bad in the end because suddenly a myriad of fucking emotions started hitting me again
like wtf. i thought i got over it. but nope, it came back
felt like shit for awhile and qy and st had phys make-up lecture.. they're going to have a test tmr
so i waited for them at the void deck with a coupla girls from my class
Clarisse and JiaYi had drama.. so was left with Serene
she totally rocks, she's super funny! never fails to make me laugh
she's a great friend yeah !
we went to sit with Jane later, this girl from my ex-class.. which i really miss terribly
but i love SD3 too. they ROCK HOLY SHIT OWNING. kinda thing. 9-0
talked alot of bull about how Jane won't date me and how i love her haha.
what rot. but it's nice, easy-going banter that takes the piss out of life
which kinda rocks. 'cos everyone needs the piss taken out of them sometimes
feels good.
they went for harp later.. left alone till those 2 jokers came down
and oh my God . i did cross-stitching ROFL. this girl let me do her cross-stitching for her
was quite funny. hey, i did 4 stitches PERFECTLY. now if that isn't pwn. what is !?
haha.

wS tried pimpin' every single cigarette that came his way
but the narcotics squad came and took his pimpin' gear away

wS thought about life at 7:31 pm

@--}--

Monday, April 11, 2005

...
....
.....
so i'm standing here in the rain
scratching my head . where did we go ?
where did this path lead to .
i'm sorry to say i'm freaking scared of what's going to happen next
will the road split and we lead our seperate ways
or will we travel the distance together

so all we're going through is one big winding journey
i don't know where i'm going
but maybe you do
because you're gonna be the one that saves me
...
today was great
although i was freaking sick
think i'm bleeding internally or something
coughed blood out this morning in the sink
looked in the mirror and saw my eyes were sunken
was totally freaked out.
i'm a shadow of my former self.
but mid-day i sorta recovered and was okay.. for awhile i guess
the entire school day just passed me by. was so tired. was so jaded.
maybe i just don't want to face up to my fears
...
went to clementi mrt station with qing.. again
and oh my god life freaking sucked from that point on
his mom came and drove him off so i was all alone
walking to the bus stop, i bumped into this freaking mat accidentally
and he just whacked me damn hard in my gut. like. WTF ?
so what if you had a bad day, i had one too right .
well i won't be the nerd that gets bashed and bitches on my blog
so i whacked him on his face and he went sprawling.
guess what.
his friends came running after me. gg no re-
fuck almost died running
ran into some hdb blocks nearby and up to the 5th floor before they stopped chasing
assholes. like wtf. that totally spoilt my day
i hope i broke his nose man.
...
went home and realised i was shitting blood
oh my god. im damn fucked up already.
coughing up blood from every single orifice in my body
i think i better go visit the doc or something
freaking malays. what's their problems. freaking punks.
feeling super funny now.. abit dizzy
can smell the iron in my nose.
God.
...
and i'm just feeling damned sad
because there's no way i can get the girl of my dreams
she's probably forgotten about me
what the hell. i hate my life.
it's kinda sucking right now.
this was a bad-good-bad-bad day.
ah.

wS thought about life at 10:38 pm

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Thursday, April 07, 2005

school's been quite great this week
my new class totally rocks. everyone's great fun
it's all cool
been super laid back recently, not bothering much about anything
like i'm slipping into empathy
something's cropped up recently
and i don't feel good .
i know i'm selfish but i try not to be
so i'll just have to see through this
i know that if i can do it, i'll be a better man.
...
back to the more mundane pieces of life
kermit jacked me on tuesday PE (hell no i'm not bolding his name)
he gave super lame excuses for my 'misdemeanors'
so my pants are abit too baggy.. like i can help it ? it's my BR pants ffs
lol.. i'm chewing gum, so he wants to report me to the police
lol.. so i need my 2 bonus points from my first 3 months here to get in in JAE?
fuck you. i'm from BR wiseass shit, i already have my inherent 2 bonus.
get a life, you're a loser. no one cares about you.
prove me wrong . thanks.
...
it's okay, i got off with 3 demerit points for my 'misdemeanors'
but madam tham was really great, she said she'll change it
so that i might not get any at all, or worse come to worse, just get 1 lor
haha. she rocks man !
totally.
i messed up in chem lab today.
kinda sucks . i didn't know where was everything
felt so stupid.. like a total noob.
geez.
had to ask this girl next to me where everything was
i'm so sorry ! haha. don't worry, it'll be cool from now on
...
messed up qy's class today..
i went in late and the bitch teach made us line up and lectured us
saying.. wtf.. 10 minutes late etc etc.. blah blah blah -yawn
so in the end we went and sat in the front wrong
me, qy, amos and this guy called benedict
was really boring. she's got this bitched monotonous voice
that makes me wanna sleep
so i was doodling on my hand when she bitched at me
so i had to answer this question, but she had to ask me for my name heh
so i said i was this absent guy called Randy (:
and said i just got back from a checkup, thats why i missed the earlier practical.. etc
then Randy's stupid friend from the back said 'eh.. don't saboh Randy la.. '
almost spoilt the whole thing, lucky Benedict covered for me
quite heng. haha.
poor randy, his life's screwed hahahaha. ohh well.
...
other than that. the day was quite boring
but GP was quite fun. we screwed Aston by making him present our crappy essay
damn funny. i was half asleep so i didn't write the stuff properly
and we drew lame pics all over the transparency
like cows jumping over the moon, sandwiches, Noah's pwnage Ark
so lame. was just sketching a parrot and a bass guitar during lesson
everyone was just talking BS or lifting directly from the text. so what's the point ?
S was damn funny though, she can make her tongue into a hmm.. 'jug' shape ?
it's damn cool la. i made her do it again and again haha. she's super funny !
i hope we can be good friends, cos i really like this class !
yepp.
Joogal Kishor took over my bio tutorial today
he's super captivating (as in his teaching.. don't get weird ideas)
seems that he's much better than our regular teacher.
sian. and i quite enjoyed that bio lesson too. really. amazing !
so different from our lecturer. hahaha.
...
meaningless school life drivelling out in a state of monotony
zzz. i feel like sleeping
i need excitement in my life
it's like so insatiable
that's why i know i'll be totally shitty as a bf ?
but i'll be great for the first few years (months?).. actually, try days hahaha !
j/k
unless i really like a girl,
i don't think i'll totally devote myself to her
that kinda thing la.
i'm such a jerk right. but sometimes it's like that la..
hah.
feeling down now.
the joy of my life's been snuffed out.
darn.
...
went to Clementi McDs today..
saw my clsasmate with a guy ^_^ scandal man !
i'll ask her about it tmr. haha.
she's nice to talk to la, so i won't ps her
yepp.
went to look for a shop where qy could find DeO
cos he's so smelly ? haha.
we bumped into DS <-- w00t . and this guy called Boon Siong from my church
quite cool.
we actually met DS.. he's gonna start work soon
wishing him all the best !
may your life in Poly be fruitful and that we can stay in touch
i have a personal bet to fulfil (:
...
ah life.
i can't wait to take another slice of it tmr.
nites.

wS thought about life at 10:05 pm

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Monday, April 04, 2005

www.unabletoexist.blogspot.com
some views on stupidity in our favourite country.
too tired to blog now, will do so later.

wS thought about life at 8:29 pm

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Sunday, April 03, 2005

so scanning through this horoscope thing.. for Celticsm
the Celts were highly respected in the arts of Druisms in their age
so i thought the guy who did this had to be pretty good, cos it describes me quite well.
i'm a Cypress Tree huh.

Cypress Tree

You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content.

You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it.

A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times.

You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed.

A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times.

bold is me, hahaha.

a few others quite true :
Zi Xing.. this one's you man

Weeping Willow Tree

You are a dreamer, and you're into almost any kind of escapism.

Restless and capricious, you love to travel to exotic places.

You are easily influenced by others, as long as they don't pressure you.

You tend to suffer in love until you find that one loyal, steadfast partner.

An empathetic friend, you love to make others smile and laugh.

Don'tcha think?

Denise... hahaha

Apple Tree

You are quiet and shy at times, but you have lots of charm and appeal.

You are quite attractive: your pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, and adventurous spirit draw people in.

Sensitive and loyal in love, you want to love and be loved.

You are a faithful and tender partner - who is generous in sharing your many talents.

You love children, and you need an affectionate partner.

And Marilyn, is this you? (:

Poplar Tree

People tend to look up to you, and it's a bit lonely at the top.

Inside, you are not always self confident, but you show great courage.

Mature and organized, you are reliable in any situation.

You tend to have an artistic or philosophical outlook on life.

You are very choosy in love and take partnership seriously.

....

ancient Druism had it's place in the divining world before all these new fangled crap came in, it's a practice atuned to the natural world, loads of meaning behind those trees yeah ?

wS thought about life at 8:15 pm

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Saturday, April 02, 2005

Sometimes I Think Best If Left In The Memory

It's Better Kept Inside And Left For Good

Looking Back Each Time They Tried To Tell Me

Well Something's Gotta Go Wrong

'Cause I'm Feelin' Way Too Damn Good

And It's Like Every Time I Turn Around

I Fall In Love And Find My Heart Face Down

And Where It Ends Is Where It Should

This Time It's Like, The Two Of Us Should Probably Start To Fight

'Cause Something's Gotta Go Wrong

'Cause I'm Feelin' Way Too Damn Good

friday was beautiful .

we received our class postings

i got into SD3, the same as m

felt a surge of two feelings : happiness and bitterness

totally happy that i could be in the same class as her

but upset at the circumstances that follow.

felt jacked the whole day, running them through my mind

so much so that i ignored her much of the day

didn't know what to say to her

i'm really sorry !

we wanted to get out of school early,

our lessons had ended already and there wasn't much point in staying behind

so we climbed out through the back gate

but st said he didn't want to, and decided to walk out by the front and meet us later

but in the end he climbed over too, haha !

we ditched the 'going-ginza' idea and went over to orchard instead

did what we do best - stone at town

qy and st didn't bring clothes so we couldn't do much

we sent su off later on, he had to go home early

headed over to Taka to meet edward liew haha

his hair is like super long and coloured

looks totally different

hung around the railings just catching up on old times

we saw some familiar faces - audrey and her two teacher friends

and some ex-barker people

yeah

and that plmgs girl that keeps staring at me in art - geez

the guys went home soon afterward,

went with qy to the bustop and talked to him for awhile

like my stupid situations and his stupid situations

hah. his bus came along soon though, so i went back to cine

played lan for awhile before calling m to remind her of our meeting

she felt really lousy, and her mom didn't really want to let her go out

but she did manage to get out anyway (:

we went around the Meridian-Plaza Singapura area for awhile

before eating at the.. Kopitiam ! haha.

bet you were like like we always do

oh well.

that was my last meal, had to make it good !

we're playing a game where we're not supposed to eat anything for erm, 1 week ?

dunno.

but hell i'm starving now haha. haven't eaten anything since morning

-growls

just enjoy talking to her like i always do

then we went to her home later

she arrived half an hour late from her curfew heh,

and here i was still trying to steal time from the sandman

haha. i wanted to tell her so many things, but it was all too rush

and didn't want to tell it to her over the phone

so in the end she went upstairs to talk to her mom first

so i managed to drop by later on, (:

we talked late into the night in her movie room

poured out everything to her

felt great afterward, she's a perfect listener !

i really hope i sort out my problems by this sunday

then life could be much smoother.

don't want to lead the wrong person on

it'd cause alot of bad blood later on, which would be rubbish

since there was nothing to build on anyway

really.

my only regret that night was.

not saying the thing that i needed to say most

oh well (:

i love you. so much, so dearly, that i'd never let you go

because you're my only one. the only one

that i've ever felt so strongly for in my whole life

you don't compare to the others, and i'm not comparing you to them either

i love you for who you are and what you are

because. you're the only one who i feel honestly good with

i love you.

wS thought about life at 8:24 pm

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