night lingers amongst the shades .. he beckons to the light to dance with him .. she sways in his shadow , a melody deeper than the flutes of the silent songstress .. the windows rattle against his persuasive romancing , glass splits , shatters as he draws his breath to his lover .. she falters . one last time , before plunging into the darkness of love .
the results are coming soon, this friday . we're all jittery, it holds the fate of us all . where we go, where we linger . do i get to stay in ACJC ? more importantly, do the people i love and treasure get to stay in ACJC ? do they want to stay in ACJC ? what's the point of getting into my dream school . if i don't have my best friends around ? that would just suck . drifting amongst the flood of strangers . lonely . maybe i want that . but i know i really don't . because that used to be okay with me . but now it isn't . i feel as if i'm just clinging onto something intangible . like .. that golden string of hope everyone talks about . that's not what it really is , is it ? i just want a hand to hold as i walk into the fire .
i love you so much i want to cry . i've been falling into your eyes each time i see you . my heart feels that lovelorn tug each time you speak . what the fuck is wrong with me ? i never felt this way to any girl before . geez . i feel like shit because of you . i feel so jaded . so torn . so lost . because of you .
the devil visited me again today . he asked , " Do you want to come with me to Hell ?" i told him . sod off bitch . my life is too precious now to throw it away . i've found a love that can't be broken . i've found that solace that can't be thrown . that's in my Lord . he won't cast me aside unlike human affection, which wears away over the years . yet i still hunger for love from people . i just want that acceptance . fuck i used to be some useless bastard that couldn't amount to anything . i'll be something . just wait . i will acheive my dreams .
my hands shake as i write this .. why do i feel so weak ? there's stalwart emotions drifting through me .. like a kaideleoscope of colour . i wish i have an angel i can count on now . why do i always bear my burdens alone . maybe it's just me . when you get burnt , you don't want to feel that again . anymore .
