cut my life into pieces
this is my last resort
shucks. results are coming out soon. monday 2pm.
what will i feel when i walk back into the barker campus ?
i have no clue .
right now i feel fear.. trepidation .
that i will lose people i love .
people i treasured times with .
if i don't get into AC will they forget me ?
i know it will happen..
no matter how much you swear to write, call or meet .
soon.. it all breaks away .
why ?
it's in our human constituent to break off, and move on .
it's a healing factor .
shit .
yesterday was yet another memorable day to keep forever .
went out with Marilyn, Kenneth, Terrence, Jeremy, Heng Yi .
was a great outing.. we went to watch a movie .
the movie stank.. just another retarded child psychological thriller .
gets too yawn after awhile . just my opinion .
went to forum to eat - genki sushi .
we switched plates, did the usual stupid stuff we always do .
played the true/false story game .
where the losers had to eat this mix of crap in the middle of the table .
went walking later.. to Far East .
the rest left.. only Marilyn and Jeremy were left with me .
bought my super sexy ZIPPO lighter ! can't touch that man .
totally nice . and replenished my f-bands that lynn took away today .
i should really be more guai in school *ponders*
p.s. i don't smoke
we hitched a cab back to Marilyn's house .
it's a really nice condo . played pool in her apartment .
then we went for a dip in the pool - yeah, both of us with our jeans on .
only she went prepared cos she stayed there . tsk .
was fun ..
depression hit me like a bomb yesterday .
out of the blue it went right smack into my bloody face .
why the hell am i still thinking about Clare ?
she already has a boyfriend. so wtf am i doing anyways ?
but still - i can't stop thinking . and thinking .
bullshit .
we stayed overnight at Marilyn's place .
wore wet jeans to bed . kinky hmm ?
we slept in her movie room.. i fell asleep watching Spirited Away
don't know about the other 2..
had fits of waking and drowsing off.. i guess the rest felt the same way too
cos we were talking and snoozing haha .
she went off to sleep in her own room later on anyway .
woke up at about 6..
played some pool . ate brekkie with Marilyn . Cereal.
nothing exciting to say. really.
won Jeremy at pool again. i need to practice. we need to practice .
went for 'brunch' at Holland V.. Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf .
shucks . had no appetite really . effects of last night's depressive shit took a toil on me .
why can't these feelings just burn in hell, they really have no use don't they ?
typing this out.. hopefully i can go out for dinner.
i don't wanna stay at home cooped up .
i need to be free .
