And you promised me.. what? A life of love and fantasy we never meant to fulfill?

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

wow .
haven't blogged in awhile . feeling so .. tired with life .
don't know why . everything hasn't been going my way .
...
lots of things .
i'm miss everyone . i'm not sure why but i do .
i really miss one person so much that i can't breakaway . i just keep thinkin about it .
feeling so down .
there's no purpose in my life anymore .
it's so insecure . . the o levels and the Prelim admissions .
you never know where you'll end up . but you've gotta try .
i'm just so scared of falling .
and failing to make the people around me proud .
..
today was so screwed .. at night..
morning went to Lan at Cine with my friends ..
supposed to meet there.. in the end only 2 turned up . Geez .
went to PS later to help plan for the youth camp .
it's gonna be a blast . really . i hope everything works out fine .
please pray for it people !
..
screwed up night .. was on war3 all night long .
played Legacies with Chua .. we died so many times it started to become stupid .
so we left .
played DotA with that person and his friends .
ended up on a team full of leavers . had to fight 5 people alone ..
and the next game . was so tired . i feel asleep at the keyboard .
couldn't do anything much.. just too tired.
..
sigh .
.
.
nevermind . i don't really care anymore .
there's nothing interesting in this life .
no ... opportunities . no understanding .
i swear everyone around here is full of fake facades . all lying through their teeth .
pretending to be people whom they never were or never will be .
it's so sickening . sickens me to the core .
i hate liars who do it out of spite , or for their own selfish needs .
please grow up you people . the world WILL be much better off without people like you .
...
grgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrrrgrgrgrrgr ,
so damned angry .
im so tired . . and angry .
Terr , are we going to play the instruments at youth ?
are we good enough ? Aren't you and Ern gonna do it ?
.... well i'll be glad 2 help out . don't mind at all .
but it depends on Sam's decision too . . we can't have 3 guitarists .. there's no bass either right .
sigh .
worship better be good . make it happen girl ! . .
...
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ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou .

i really do .
... but i don't really hate anyone .

wS thought about life at 3:40 am

@--}--

Sunday, November 07, 2004

humph.
sickening exams.. getting me down..
cant stand the boredom of the texts set before me..
each paper i do a maddening angst of reality..

after all these where do we go?
drifting our own seperate ways
after all these what do we do?
move on with life.. apart again
after all these what can we say?
nothing. our destiny, set in stone
after all.. ...
what are we?

can't let this happen to me.

.sickening

we're all gonna part soon.

.me

you.

.everyone

anyone.

.people we used to know

now unfamiliar faces.

.people we had cherished memories with

now gone in the passing wind.

.sickening

like a poison rotting away within me.

.the sense of the forgotten descends

most of the time we never know what's most important in our lives..

here we are.

plying every scrap of paper to study our eyes out.

for what?

our future?

probably.

but we neglect the things of life..

things close to us

we never appreciate these things till they're gone

will we ever see each other again?

i really hope we do.

because, you've become a part of me

intertwined within the fabric of my life

- unforgetable.

- school -

qing yuan

landon su

shaun tham

darius wei wen

darius rui xiang

zi xing

ruben

ryan tee

kenneth

jonathan chua

ben chua

bernard

elliot

mark

kai jun

david gan

... anyone i've missed out.

gone like today ...

... lets meet again someday

wS thought about life at 11:24 pm

@--}--

Saturday, November 06, 2004

exams are halfway over, but not yet quite done..
that lingering sense of distortion hangs low upon every one of us..
i feel like i'm dreaming, but not quite awake yet.

English. Over.
E Maths Paper 1. Over.
Literature. Over
Social Studies. Over.

As i sit here typing this, my printer is churning out copies
of Math questions from the acs site..
So much to do.. yet so little time.
My Art Prepatory work needs attention as well..
There's only two papers the coming week..
but the volley will only be unleashed the following -
the sciences. geography. art.
i really want to score well.
can't let people down - myself. parents. peers..
Charis. Shawn. Bernie. Who are in this with me.
Good luck to you both..
Bernie, she probably won't need it.. sigh.
... hmm. And to Kathryn, being the only teacher i respect in school.

I never hated AcsBr.. but i never lived a charmed life within it either
It's mainly because of me i guess.. never amounting to much.
but it's all going to change. I'm writing my own life story from now on.
Fulfilling my promises. Realising my dreams.
My promise to you, Kathryn.
Promises to the people i made.
It's all within the grasp of my hands. waiting to be realised.

.......... mundane ramblings ...........
+ Went out today because house was being fumigated
+ Went to Orchard Road.. deadly sin I know, especially now..
+ Bought a brown cordouroy pouch for my iPod Mini.. 6.90.. 77th street..
+ Bought some manga... sigh. Grand Teacher Onizuka owns.
+ Went for a haircut at Reds.. for the exams.
+ ... probably it's going to grow long again after 2 weeks..
+ .... leading me to visiting Reds' again for a re-cut for Grad Night..
+ ..... which is at Meritus Mandarin,
+ ..... which I recently realised was next to Cineleisure..
+ ...... and which I know nothing about the theme for the Night...
+ ....... only a miniscule proportion from what Shaun Tham told me....
+ ........ surmising to the obvious fact you readers notice :
+ ......... I don't know anything.

... and back to the books we go (my printing's done)

wS thought about life at 10:02 pm

@--}--