i'm so sorry for the way i treated everyone.
it's been like a living hell i bet.
i never wanted to do this.
honestly.

i've been waking in the night for the past few days
i can't sleep and i've been tossing and turning
the restlessness is killing me
i just want it to go away.

.denise.
i'm not regretting what i said to you that day.
because i meant it with my entire heart.
don't get me wrong, i don't wanna force a relationship
on you.

i don't wanna scare you away.
but i guess i got desperate
i couldn't hold on.

i've been stupid for the most part of my life.
taking up fists as the solution to any problem.
but now i've changed.
nothing should be ever done that way.

right now, i still want you.
deep in my heart, your roots are there
i can't forget you.

but i don't want to rush things.
i don't wanna feel that awkwardness
that most people feel when they break up
you know?
we should be cool with each other.

i want us to be closer than before now
but i don't want to force anything on you.
we all need time, we're still young
i made a rash decision, and now i'm regretting it.

we're not ready. so now,
would you take me back, Su Wen?
take me back not as a brother,
but as your closest friend.
closer than a brother.

.terri.
dearest girl. i never meant to hurt you.
when i talked to you that day
i thought you were a way for me to lighten my burdens.
but i ended up hurting you instead.

i never meant to hurt you. really.
i regret posting that blog post and making you cry.
if you ever want to shoot me, i won't blame you for that
i deserve it.

but hear me out.
i've never lied about us ever.
for the past 8 years i fell for you first.
you were my soul, the one i loved.

i had to choose.
and i chose you then.
i tried my best you have to believe me
i cried when i heard about you and him.
it hurt me worse than anything i ever felt before.

but now. don't hate me for saying this.
i choose your sister.
i chose denise.
but i still want you as my friend.
i don't wanna lose you ever. ever. again.
my life is falling down around me
it's time to build it up again.

you wanted it to be this way right.
we, as close friends.
if it's important to you right now.
and you still want to.
i'll do it now. for YOU.

save me from this darkness.
be my closest friend.

don't leave me behind.
i'm still stuck in time.
stuck in the days when we were young
three of us siting on your carpet
in your old home.
talking. laughing.

i enjoyed your company.
i enjoyed the time as we watched outer limits together.
and played your mario games.

i remember how shy i was to talk to both of you first.
but then as the night grew longer
we were laughing together like old friends.

i remember teaching you how to draw su wen.
and watching terri eat her chocolates..
from that small fridge below the dresser.

i miss those times.
i'm still stuck there.
facing the choice of both of you.

right now. i've made my choice again.
i've fallen for you, denise.
and i'll love you as a friend, terri.

help me.