And you promised me.. what? A life of love and fantasy we never meant to fulfill?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

this blog has moved to http://www.loveislikenovocaine.blogspot.com
thanks for patronising this one.
it'll still be up.. till i think of a further use for it :)

wS thought about life at 5:07 pm

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

your scent strong myrrth upon my nape
a stealing cacophany that ebbs in the air
the resonance these sounds
they bleaken my eyes and purge my soul
when will i ever realise
that you never meant anything
just a song, the sweetest song
dancing in the teasing wind
the dry, rasping wind
that burns and spurns
everything that i exist for, live for

so i carry upon my head
this crown of shit
where the flys pick their meals off from
and maggots run fleshy within the thin film
i just want you to know
that i'd always be there for you
but your heart and soul lives in my dreams
palatable, unrequited
break my bones and drain my marrow
because you are my temptress and life

seducing me with your venom _ //

wS thought about life at 3:36 am

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Monday, July 11, 2005

well. spent the long week end catching up on the Lost craze.
it's a pretty good show,
deleted my OC season 1 to make space for Lost season 1
haa. it was 11GB man, wtf ?

i'm bored.
Marilyn and Yan Ling didn't go on friday
haa. Marilyn didn't even go on monday (today)
woke up feeling queer, a bit sick,

sick of school
sick of the teachers
sick of the crap there
sick of people you don't want to see (mainly teachers)
sick of the air to breathe there
sick of lessons
sick of recess
sick of lunch
sick of the free periods in between
sick of all the pressure

...well you get the idea how detestful i find school eh?
went to the docs at around 2, got an MC for 2 days
really great, seeing that i hate school so much

Darius' party is this Saturday
no idea what to buy him, but it'll be something good
'cos he's been the greatest gift-giver to me (:
Ds's 3 Doors Down CD -vs- Qing-Xing-Su-Shaun's Eminem Encore CD
no comparison man, Ds totally owns all. haa
anyway he's my best peep outside school too. so it rocks
i wonder what he wants. hmm.
shucks..

watching episode 6 of Lost now,
it's really addictive. but limewire totally lags my comp after i leave it on
i have to leave it on to download stuff, if not nothing gets going

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

// Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

`you
you are my broken thought
you are my strings of control
you weave my body in circles unimaginable
like interlocking dancers in momentum
of frenzy, of fury
like the enclave of demons
they bite, snap, hurl
their corpulence at you, ending
every trace of innocence
you are my lost hope
you are my burnt candle
whose wax falls dripping like
ether in the evening snow
would you hold me now
if i should fall
or leave me be
in the darkness that shrouds
covering all my thought
revealing all my insanity

`school
give me wings so i can fly,
above this mire of human waste
this center of bloody sacrifice
i need to break free
away from here
i still recall the taste of the fear
a ringing haunting echo in my ear
so take me away from here
let me be a dream evaporating
into the morning mist
the rapid evanescence
take my being
and bring me away
where i won't see what i don't want to see
please make this all go away
i'm bound to just this one fate
and i cannot escape

wS thought about life at 10:25 pm

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Friday, July 08, 2005

this is part II of a July 08, 2005 post. part I's probably below somewhere.

life of a 1SD3er :

as you're probably reading this, you'll be wondering,
like how i wonder when i see other people saying
"ohh, 1FCUK10 really rocks in xJC"
i wonder what's so great about their class,
since that number means nothing to me at all.

but hell no, 1SD3 is my class in AC
it's not a helluva class, but nevertheless it's great
there's people i like, there's no one i don't like
and there's people i try and avoid... if necessary

so we had PE today, coached by our favourite David Ng's sister
his sister teachers PE. that's how crazy la, she's sweet, though
went to play bball with Eston and the girls,
failed Napfa, but since she thinks i look so buff she let me play haa.
the girls didn't want to play in the end, since the recess bell rang
so me and Eston shot some hoops and talked

lunch was still the best, though
we thought of a Pimp name for Gupreet
since he's so pimpadalic, he totally looks like one
curly hair, solid features, pimp smile, the works man
can't touch that nigga homie
he'd just need his pimpin' magic stick, his pimpin' hat and shoes
and he'll be made, he's our very own Daddy G
Daddy G will yo hook me up wit sum of yo bitchas yo?
we're very proud. 1SD3's pimp daddy.
haa.
THEN Eston started talking about some hot women shit
like ms.world or some crap like that,
said he liked Estonian women, figures his name lol
and we reached a general concensus that Turkish women are hot
then he took out this paper and talked about this model
and he showed us a Victoria's Secret bra advert. haa
what the hell !? that was damn funny, lucky the girls couldn't see.
and i snapped my straw by biting and pulling it,
so they laughed at me, and i pointed the middle fingers twice that lunch
but not at the girls haa, 'course not ! pointed it at Eston for laughing at me

my bio notes have a dog on them
some sweet person wrote my name and drew a doggy on it
it's quite cute, i suppose :/ haa.
love the handwriting too, but i wonder who? Hmms.

1SD3's starting to grow on me..
there's the cool, there's the cute, there's the handsome
there's the queer, there's the fun, there's the mad
there's the muggers, there's the fuggers,
there's everyone there, what an eccentric class. love it !

wS thought about life at 12:13 am

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

Listening to : Day That I Die / Good Charlotte

I called my mother
Told her I loved her
I begged her not to cry
I wrote her a letter
I said I'd miss her
And signed that goodbye
You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die
Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I died)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I died)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I died)
All alone, but I feel fine (the day that I died)

strangely enough, i don't really did like GC lately,
thought predictable was pretty whiny, but i loved the lyrics
GC's great. All their songs have simple, yet realistic meanings in them,
so natural, emotive, a way of expressing human feelings.
but i guess, they've always been pretty good.

it's 11.51 now and i'm writing this sentence.
i'm tired, of everything, tired of:

`dragging myself out of bed every early morning
`walking to the interchange to find i don't have the bus fare
`standing up for assembly each day to sing the national anthem
`waking up to reality every day, i want to live in my dreams
`sharing a seat on the bus with a person
`tripping on my words when i talk to her

sometimes, you just feel tired of life
tired of the people living in it
it's too cumbersome to go on, to move on
maybe for some, their dreams spur them on
whilst others, they just wander forward with aimless purpose
i don't want to be like them,
not an idealist who'll never acheive his dreams
nor a souless being without passion

i just want to live it my way
to walk my own path, not governed by paper, by rules, by authority
sure, authority keeps us in check
paper grades give us the edge in this fast-paced economy.
but think about it, it's so fast our grades will probably..
become null anyway, seeing the pace of study nowadays.

i hate authority. hate people i don't respect boss me around.
don't push me, and i'll listen to you,
i'm not rebellious, i just hate your condescendence
get it into your thick skulls that you can't force respect
i'll still spit on your graves

random rantings _ //

so chua has a big tai ji with his classmate
this bloke named wei y* yeah
he supposedly lashed out at this innocent girl
'cos he felt so deprived and sad that everyone was daoing him
what can i say, if your face sucks, improve your attitude
if your attitude sucks, you better have a really good face to hide it
if both suck, you can just suck shit and die, why?
because honestly no one cares, only your mom and your pet dog
some people just want attention so they do stupid things to get it
like this dude, who sat at a corner sulking
'cos no one wanted to pick him in their group
and when an innocent girl asked him a question
he just bit her head off, congratulations, you made a new enemy
get some 1337 social engineering skills you dickwart

oh, if my dearest readers are wondering why the hell i give a shit
it's because i've met this guy before
Seoul G. at Taka, chua invited us to his class gathering
and this bloke not only fucked our table seating up
(we were there seperately, only together for company)
and he put us on one of his grimy, used tables
like wtf? there was charred meat on the bloody barbequey-thingy
and his half-drunk drink was on the table. totally wtf man
and i hated his face, his shirt, his breath, his smell
gosh. and his attitude.
we were fooling around at our table.. hey we're only guys ok haa
stuffing unfinished food and stuff into the fire ((:
yet he still has to come over and kpkb because it's not polite
wtf man, FUCK OFF i don't even know you and you come and talk cock?
freak show. go and die la.
hope chua arranges the date to whack your face in
then i'll french that girl in front of you and spit on you afterward
kicks,, oh, the kicks that i get.

end of random ramblings _ //

well, this is a pretty long post.
school's tomorrow, but it's the week end
so life gets sweeter i guess. haa

results coming back soon. hopefully none on friday
so i can enjoy my weekend in peace.
it's a constant :
DotA will always have shitholes
so what to do? TAKE THEM DOWN LOR lol-
Gg No Re- t('-' t) hullo nurse.

wS thought about life at 11:36 pm

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Monday, July 04, 2005

so i haven't been blogging for the past weeks, why?
been playing some DotA,
but been occupied with this online friend making service, Friendster.
introduced to it by the dearest Estherr Smell
i've been pre-occupied meeting friends, making friends, then adding them
haha, what the hell
i don't really know why i'm doing this
is it so hip? is it so in?
can't believe the guys are doing it too..
qing, shaun, does su have friendster too?

i guess, friend + gangster = friendster

how many chao bengs out there want to be my friend?
so so many, even Estherr gets weird requests from people:

"hey pls dun mind,im jus feel very boring jus wanna find sum1 to chat wif.dun worry i got no any ill intention,jus pure clean chat.hope u dun mind.."
J-A-S-O-N

pure clean chat!? who even wants pure clean chat with a total stranger
somebody seriously needs some remodelling in the brain,dept.
i guess, this is just a hypothesis but maybe,
30% of the people on friendster are just lonely and needing female companionship
yeah, even the girls too
but what can i say.. to tell a total stranger you don't have ill intentions
that's just weird.
HAHA. don't you find it weird. anyway.

enough about this silly online friend-network whatnot and onto the deeper stuff
things such as how do i get my guinea pig to squeak when i want it to
he squeaks when i get water for him
he squeaks when i feed him
but he doesn't squeak when i pet him
weird animal, but he's so cute, so i'll just forgive him
damn cute.
haha.

oh, how i love Ben & Jerrys
here's the part where i tell the whole world my favourite food
oh, i love ice-cream, i love chocolates
the world's a much better place with those 2 in it
definitely. if you don't agree, you're an ill-informed, poor-taste hermit
go crawl back under the rock where you came from
because i'm always right :)
anyway,
so i finished this tub of Ben & Jerrys, madness
but it's so addictive! The Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavour
really mmMMmm. other great flavours include :

`the Chubby Hubby one, vanilla with peanut butter and pretzels
`the NY Super Fudge, with fudge, walnuts, pecans and almonds in chocolate
`the Chunky Monkey one, banana ice cream with fudge chunks!
`the Phish Food one, chocolate ice cream with marshmellow, fudge fish and caramel

oh my GOD. just thinking about it makes me hungry.
i'm going to get me another pint right NOW.
sigh. i'm a icecreamholic
and proud to be one !
hmm, i think if it's time for me to die
i'll choose to die by overeating on B&Js hahaha.
oh yes i'm mad.

wS thought about life at 3:56 pm

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Monday, June 20, 2005

Listening to : If You Leave - Nada Surf

So if you leave, don't leave now
please don't take my heart away
promise me just one more night,
then we'll go out seperate ways.

We'll always have time on our side
but now it's fading fast
every second, every moment
we gotta make it last.

-yawns. i swore i did that 38478330 times today,
just 1 more than dearest Estherr smell .
haha.
i'm so tired ! finally got dragged of the comp
and forced to study.
terms are coming though, what to do ?

so tits up, the thing is, i can't use the comp for 2 weeks
so much unfinished business !
like editing my friendster profile and feeding my online fetus.
wtf. lol.
i'm really bored, as you all can tell
and i've exceeded the 1hr slot i weaseled out of my dad by 1 minute now
which will soon stretch to 5 minutes because i haven't finished blogging.
sigh

studying really saps me, i can't believe how other people can do it so well
well sure, the urgency of O levels actually drove me on last year
but what the hell. i'm sure it was God that gave me that B3 on physics.
freak show.
'cos you see, i was determined to ditch physics for Os.
but decided ahh heck, just study on the day of the exam la,
might as well kill that 4 hours after Geography ended before the test started
so i studyed (rather) studiously in a noisy cafe at school,
and poof, a B3 from C6
but i'm just digressing, so back to my current predicament : studying
i HATE studying
i ABSOLUTELY HATE studying
there's nothing more sapping than studying what you NEED to study
i could look through Estherr's history textbook and enjoy reading it
although it's a stupid textbook i enjoy reading it, why ?
because i don't need to LEARN anything from it.
sure, i'm still learning from it anyway, aren't i ?
but haha. the fact that i don't need to consciously learn from it satisfies me.
yeah, i'm weirddd.
-enough ranting and raving.

is this enough tripe to satisfy my blog viewers ?
the *loyal* peeps from school
and the occasional wandering turtle ? heh.
ooh. check out www.sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com
yeah, she's got the media hype breathing down her neck
well i'll admit that i went there out of interest of the n00d pic haha
but i realised, like another blogger i know,
she writes rather good material. bummer.
pshht to all the other horny young men out there
muaha.

yepp.
gotta go.
'cos dad just came into the room
cant blog anymore
bye !

wS thought about life at 9:27 pm

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